Let’s be honest here. I’ll bet you opened this post because your curls are driving you absolutely crazy. Maybe you used to have gorgeous spirals that would last for days and days, and now they fall flat before lunchtime. Or maybe you’re dealing with silver wavy hair that just doesn’t want to cooperate like it used to.
I get it. This is a problem that I have also struggled with since I ditched the dye 10 years ago. Things have changed, and I’ve learned quite a bit along the way. If you could see my hair every single day, you would realize that my hair is not perfect. I struggle with issues of frizz and curl longevity just like you do.
Before you throw in the towel and give up on your curly hair, I’ve got 10 tips for you that might help you get the most out of your curls and make them last just a little bit longer.
By the end of this, you’ll have some real methods to try. I’m also giving you permission to give yourself grace and adjust your expectations because sometimes that’s the most freeing thing you can do.
Read on to find out what my number one issue was, and I hope the last tip helps you the most.
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#1 Ditching the Dye Can Affect Your Curl Pattern
As counterintuitive as it may sound, ditching the dye can contribute to changes in your curl pattern. Dye damages all hair, and some hair types benefit from the damage. My hair was that way.
When I dyed my hair, the few days and weeks after I had dyed it, my curls were at their best. I think it was that the cuticle was slightly damaged to accept the dye, and that created just a little bit more bounce and curl retention.
Conversely, others may have noticed when they ditched the dye, their hair became curlier because their hair was so damaged by the dye it couldn’t hold the curl.
Either way, if you ended up with straighter hair or curlier, it can be a surprise and a challenge to suddenly have a new texture.
I ended up with a double whammy, which brings me to point number two.
#2 Hormonal Changes Alter Curl Pattern
Hormones control the shape of the follicle. The follicle controls the curl pattern. The shape of the hair follicle can be influenced by testosterone, DHT, estrogen, thyroid hormones, insulin, etc.
As estrogen levels drop during menopause, testosterone binds to the receptors in the follicle, causing it to become straighter or curlier over time. It really depends on the structure of your follicle and what’s going on for you.
The solution is to check with your doctor and see if you have some hormone imbalances that can medically be addressed. Your sex hormones are one thing, but remember thyroid and insulin are also hormones. You want to get a full workup and see if there’s something that might help your curls return to their original pattern.
Like I mentioned earlier, I had a double whammy. I ditched the dye at the very same time that I had a complete hysterectomy. I’ve been on hormones for the last 10 years, and it’s been really difficult to tell for sure if it was hormonal changes, ditching the dye, or a combination of the two.
Something to consider: Look at your prepubescent hair. If you can, find pictures of yourself before you went through puberty. The theory holds, whatever your hair looked like before puberty, it’s likely it will look the same after you finish menopause because the hormone levels will be somewhat similar. If you can find that photo, you may find a clue as to what’s going on with your hair today.
#3 Length and/or Cut
This may seem obvious. However, when you have long hair it’s easy for it to get too long without you even realizing it. That extra weight of your hair contributes to elongation and less curl retention.
Having long hair myself, I can tell you it happens. I will go for a little while and then all of a sudden, I’m wondering, “What is going on with my hair? Why is it acting up so much?” and I realize my hair is just too long.
In that same vein, if you need a haircut, you may need some shaping done with a little bit of layers because if you have an outer layer of hair that is weighing the under layer down, it may be dragging the curl pattern out.
Solution: Get a haircut and try some long layers or a curl-by-curl cut. If you have the right stylist, I highly recommend that you evaluate what’s going on with the lengths of your hair and if it’s possible that the weight of the hair is pulling out the curl pattern. A light trim or a haircut can change everything.
#4 Over-Conditioning Your Hair Can Ruin Your Curls
I’m talking about conditioning your hair to the point where it is too soft.
All curly hair is dry. NOPE, that’s a myth.
All silver hair is dry. NOPE, that’s also a myth.
Because of these two myths, I think that a lot of people are using way too much conditioner or the wrong kind of conditioner for their hair type. It doesn’t matter what color your hair is, and it doesn’t matter what pattern your hair is. It depends on the porosity of your hair, how thick or thin your hair is, and how fine or coarse it is.
Water softener reality: Water softeners use conditioning agents to soften the water, and those conditioning agents will be conditioning your hair. If you have a water softener, you may be softening your hair just with your water.
Humidity factor: If you live in a humid climate and you’re adding too much conditioner or the wrong type, it could just be weighing your hair down because there’s already so much moisture in the air. If you live in a very dry climate, like I do, you need to make sure you are getting the right conditioner and the right amount.
The solution is NOT don’t use conditioner. It is about finding the right conditioner for your hair type. You may need something lightweight with no oils, maybe a little bit of protein, or more water when you’re using conditioner. For instance, if you have a favorite conditioner, try to water it down a little bit instead of using more product. Also make sure that your leave-in isn’t contributing to this problem as well.
#5 How the Overuse of Silicones and Oils Change Curl Longevity
They’re not necessarily evil or bad and you don’t need to avoid them altogether, but you want to make sure that you’re using them in moderation. A lot of curly-specific products contain oils, and I’ve included this with silicones because they do the same thing. They coat the hair. They create a beautiful barrier against humidity – that’s valuable. They also can provide heat protection.
But overuse and having them in every single product in your lineup can lead to buildup that weighs your hair down, causes more frizz, and causes you to lose that curl pattern you’re so desperately looking for.
Heavy butters like coconut oil, shea butter, and cocoa butter are really big culprits here because they are coating and they’re molecularly heavy. They’re going to weigh that hair down and pull your curl out and make it flat.
My best advice for using silicones and oils is to use them as a finishing product. My entire lineup contains very few oils, and no silicones in my shampoo, conditioner, leave-in, or gel. Occasionally, when I’m finishing my hair, to scrunch out the crunch and seal in all of the work I’ve put into styling my curls, I will use a pure oil, or silicone or oil-based serum to protect my hair from the environment, humidity, and wind.
What to look for: Water-soluble and shampoo-soluble silicones. Don’t use silicones at all if you are co-washing your hair and not using shampoo. You might want to avoid oils and silicones at all costs for a little while just to see how your curls respond.
#6 Not Clarifying Your Hair Enough
Chances are good if you are not clarifying your hair at all, your curls are suffering. If you aren’t incorporating it into your regular routine, your curls may need a little more consistency.
Here’s a little test I like to do: If you have frizz and you have a lack of curl pattern, clarify your hair. If it gets frizzier, you need a better conditioner and a better hold product. If you clarify your hair and it gets better, you see a better curl pattern, and your frizz goes away, you have a buildup issue.
Either way, clarifying hits the reset button and takes all that weight out of your hair.
The clarifying shampoo you need depends on WHY you need it:
- If you have hard water, you need a clarifying shampoo that has chelating ingredients that break up the hard water deposits. I can tell you because I have hard water, when I use a chelating shampoo, my curls look so much better.
- You might need something with sulfates or sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, which is beautiful at breaking up the buildup from oils and butters and residue from an oily scalp.
- Or a combo product if you have hard water and product buildup, or you just don’t know.
Enjoy both the QuickSilverHair Clay and Squalane Oil
- Get the benefits of clarifying and hitting reset for your curls with a clay mask.
- Use the clay once or twice a month to return your curls to their glory.
- The 100% Clear and Pure Squalane oil is perfect for smoothing frizz, scrunching out the crunch, and protecting your hair from the environment.
#7 Using the Wrong Hold Products For Your Curls
I have an important message…listen to me on this one: NO HOLD MEANS – NO HOLD! If you aren’t setting that curl with some sort of product that can lock it into place, it’s not going to last. It will not be protected from the environment.
Light to medium hold products are usually not enough. They will not work for finer, looser hair patterns.
The Truth About Mousse: I know many of us grew up in the 80s and 90s with the wet look and we were using that fabulous Aussie mousse that locked it in and gave us that solid curl for days. That mousse is no longer on the market, and I have yet to find one that competed with it. Most mousse today is really designed for volume, so it is not something to be used alone for hold.
Curl Cream Reality Check: Using only a curl cream can be a problem. Curl creams are not usually designed for hold. They’re designed to encourage the curl, and in some cases, they can be very weighty and pull the curl out. You can’t use them by themselves.
The solution: Use hard hold or firm hold gels. You can layer gels over your creams or your leave-ins to help soften your hair. If you’re applying them on soaking wet hair, you won’t get that hard crunchy hair that you think you will. If you do get that crunchy hair, you have set what is called the gel cast – and that’s a beautiful thing because the hard gel has set and locked the curl into place.
These gels create a protective barrier and they add structure to the curl. Don’t be scared of the crunch. You can scrunch it out with your finishing oil or serum and your hair will be soft again.
My recommended products: Giovanni LA Hold, Loma Firm Hold Gel (that’s my personal favorite), and if you live in a high humidity climate, I would absolutely suggest trying the Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Heat and Humidity Stronger Hold Gel.
Also check out this post on Why You Need Gel.
#8 Your Application Technique Makes or Breaks the Curl
Applying your products to damp hair will disrupt your curl pattern, cause frizz, and shorten the curl longevity. So many of us habitually have put all the stylers on damp hair, this just doesn’t support definition and curl retention. Adopting the wet hair rule might be the best thing you have ever done for your curls. Trust me, this might be the game changer for you.
The wet hair rule is simply applying your products to wet or soaking wet hair to help evenly distribute the products. It helps to make sure that you are locking in that curl family. While you are styling your hair wet, when you achieve that seaweed-y clumpy look, you’re on the right track.
If you’re trying to apply your leave-ins, mousses, or gels on damp hair, you can’t get a defined long-lasting look. You won’t get those clumps together. If you’re going for pure volume, damp hair might be the way to go. If you’re looking for longevity, I would highly suggest applying your products on wet hair.
The Touch Factor: The more you touch your hair before it’s 100% dry, the more likely you’re going to cause frizz and break up your curl families. The worst kind of touching it is scrunching the curls with your towel, scrunching in products on damp hair, and scrunching it with your diffuser. This all leads to disrupting those happy clumpy curl families.
Sectioning Matters: The more hair you have, the more sections you need. I have fine thin hair, so I only section my hair into three sections – the two sides and the back section. I focus on the back section a little differently because that curl is slightly different than the rest of my hair. You may find sections on your hair that you need to apply product in different proportions due to the pattern, the density, or the texture in that zone.
For a tutorial on how to apply products and a version of plopping, head over to my Double Gel Double Plop video.
#9 Your Curl Drying Technique Can Change Everything
The longer your hair is wet, the more elongated your curl will be. If you’re using a microfiber towel and you have low porosity hair, you’re probably not getting enough water out of your hair. I suggest that microfiber towels be used on higher porosity or quick-drying hair types. If you have slow-drying hair or lower porosity hair like I do, I recommend cotton tee towels.
Plopping: If you haven’t learned how to plop your hair, now’s the time to learn. It will help encourage the curls by protecting that wet seaweed-y curl family while some of the water is being soaked out.
The air-drying problem: There are cons to air-drying your hair. If you keep your hair wet for a long period of time, the weight of the water is going to pull the curl out.
This was one of my number one culprits and issues. I had air-dried my hair for 20 years because of the Curly Girl Method “no heat” rule. I never touched my hair with heat, and that became a detriment to my curly silver hair. The longer it stayed wet (it can take my hair upwards of 4 hours to air-dry), the more elongated the curl got and the less curl clump I had.
I’m not against air-drying, far from it, I am writing this while my hair is air-drying. It is nearly 100°F and a very dry day so it will dry relatively quickly. I just make sure it doesn’t stay wet for hours.
Long Hair Diffusing Technique: Because the length and weight of my hair will elongate my curls; I plop my hair onto the counter while drying. I take it straight out of the plop; I flip my head over and pool my curls onto the towel on the counter. Then I lay the dryer on the counter, I move it around my hair in sections, I hover diffuse to dry it, once I come upright I hover diffuse for a few more minutes. This takes about 15 minutes, and I let it air-dry the rest of the way from there.
Don’t touch with the diffuser: Back to the touching issue…if you’re touching your hair with the diffuser, you’re breaking up those curl families and creating more frizz. Hover over your hair to diffuse without touching it.
Let it cool and dry completely: Let your hair cool and let it completely dry 100% of the way before you touch it. If you have a gel cast that you want to scrunch out or you like to seal your hair with an oil; waiting until it is 100% dry helps set the bonds in your curl pattern, they will last longer, trust me.
Pro Tip: sleep in your cast, don’t break it up and you might get a better chance at second day curls. This works great if you wash and style your hair later in the day.
#10 Adjusting Your Curl-Scope
You may have had some of these issues that I’ve discussed. You may have had all of these issues. You may find that none of my solutions offer you any shift or change in your curl pattern.
What that means now, it might be time for you to accept that your curls have changed. Accept it and approach your hair in a different way.
It doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It doesn’t mean that it’s ugly. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with it. It just means that it’s different.
You may have to adjust your curl-scope and learn to accept what is. I can get my hair to look like I want for about 24 hours and most of the time it will look completely different after I have slept on it. If I’m lucky, I’ll still have enough curl to put it in a cute curly ponytail. I adjusted my curl-scope, and I work with what I have, you may need to as well.
Accepting what we have is so much better than chasing the perfect curl cream or gel or the perfect application method because acceptance is free. Chasing curl products can get very expensive and only add to your frustration.
Adjust Your Curl-Scope With Experimentation
You may have one of these issues or all of these issues. Experiment, you can adjust for one thing, two things, three things, or all the things and see what happens. I do suggest you try one at a time so you can see how that one change performs for you. If it goes well, keep it and try another. If it doesn’t, skip to the next change. Add them together mindfully to monitor how your hair changes.
Take notes. Get yourself a curl journal and see if it helps you to figure out what is causing your hair to lose its curl quicker than it should.
I’d go in this order and build on the last thing if possible:
- Get a good haircut – this might solve half your problems
- Clarify your hair – this might solve the other half of your issues
- Adjust the conditioner – use less, try less oils and silicones, add more water
- Apply products to soaking wet hair
- Try stronger hold products – gel is your curl friend
- Consider hover diffusing – air-drying only if your hair can dry quickly
- Adjust your curl-scope – Work with what you have. Take notes on what actually works for YOUR hair, not what works for the influencer with completely different hair.
I hope you found this post educational and helpful.
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share.
As always it is about so much more than the hair.
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