Is your hair wavy, curly, straight, or you don’t even know?
Did you decide to embrace your curls, along with your silver hair?
When you embraced your silvers did you discover your hair was curly and you had no idea?
Did you look into or try The Curly Girl Method (aka CGM) and promptly get overwhelmed and confused?
Are you finding all the curly girl advice is all just a bit too much?
Well before you read any further, I’ll be straight up with you…I don’t follow all the hard rules for the Curly Girl Method, not anymore.
I did, back in the beginning, when it all started in the early 2000’s. I tried and I failed, then I thought I had it figured out, and then the rules changed. After 20+ years of it, I finally threw in the towel on CGM.
It was a nice starting point in my understanding of how to care for my hair. Now, I do what I have found works for me and sometimes I start all over, products get “improved” or discontinued, or my hair just says, “enough of that now!” Here’s a little clue to my discovery, the products matter, but not as much as the application process.
Anyway, I’ve found through the years it has all changed for me several times, and I will bet, you have experienced this too.
I’ve called this post “shortcuts,” and while this is packed with loads of helpful information, all you have to do is pluck out what works for you.
This is my third update to this post. Why? Because as I learn more I let go of outdated rules, and relax about the products I try, and the ingredients that are supposedly a total no-no! Frankly, the rules are set by your individual hair type.
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I have tried a mountain of products and returned or rehomed most of them. I have had an ongoing spreadsheet of all the brands I have tried and why I loved them or hated them. It included things like smell, texture, price, ingredients, and if it made me itch or not. I figured out some things on this 24+ year long journey to my ultimate healthy curls that I tell any Curly Girl (CG) when she asks me what to do for her curls.
First things first, your hair is like a fingerprint no two heads are the same. Hair Type is a combination of texture, density, porosity, moisture retention, coil, wave, dyed, undyed, humidity, even pregnancy and menopause, it all matters, and it all changes the equation. Speaking of equation that is exactly how you need to treat it…your own personal equation.
Cleanse + Condition & Detangle + Leave-in + Application Method + Hold + Drying Method = YOUR Best Curl Life
These are my top Curly Hair Shortcuts. The rest depends on what works for you.
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- Find your shampoo and conditioner that work for you 90% of the time. Why do I say 90%, because 10% of the time you need clarifying products.
§ - Wash Less. I wash three times a week, if that. If you need a refresh, rinse your hair thoroughly and go from the condition point of your equation. If you cannot refresh your hair, don’t worry about it, that’s more common than not.
§ - Brush Mindfully. Detangle with a wide-tooth comb or wet brush in the shower with conditioner in your hair. Or dry brush on your loose waves pre-shampoo. Never yank a brush through your dry curls.
§ - Ditch the terrycloth towel, you want a towel that has no loops and is smooth and soft. Try The Perfect Haircare microfiber towel if your hair dries quickly.If your hair needs a little more water absorbed, try the Curly Queen Tee Turban (this is my favorite towel). For low porosity hair it absorbs a ton of water and helps shorten the dry time.§
- Never rough up or scrub your hair with a towel. Pat or scrunch dry. Air-dry when possible after sopping up most of the water. If you air-dry from sopping wet hair it stretches the curl and causes breakage, so always air-dry once your hair is slightly damp.
§ - Or learn to plop.
§ - If you prefer to blow dry, blow dry on low to medium heat with a diffuser. You want to avoid heat damage on your curls and your silvers. If you want to protect your silvers from high heat dryers check out the Laifen Swift (this is the dryer I have).
§ - Sulfate and silicone free products can be the best for curls but not always.
- Sulfates are easy to avoid now, and you won’t really miss them. I avoid them because I find them stripping. However, you may need sulfates for extra clarifying!
- Not all silicones are created equal some are water-soluble, which means they don’t bind to the hair and will wash out each shampoo. (PEG prefaced Dimethicones are the usually water-soluble –cones.)
- If your silver curls respond better to the use of a silicone, avoid using silicones in ALL your products, aim for water or shampoo-soluble silicones. If you experience silicone buildup, use a clarifying shampoo in your routine and make sure you deep condition after.
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- Watch for alcohol content, alcohol dries your hair. Not all alcohol is created the same though, some are drying alcohols and some are fatty acids that provide moisture.Most products with drying alcohols aren’t actually bad for your hair, much of the time the alcohol evaporates either in the formulation process, or before your hair dries. It is still a good idea not to use too much, especially on your dry hair.
§ - Read up on what your hair is lacking moisture or protein, and vice versa, read up on what you have too much of. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I find a lot of people come to me and they are completely overwhelmed by this facet of curly care.Please read my ingredients post to get a better understanding of how to use proteins for your hair type.
§ - KNOW YOUR HAIR TYPE.
- You need to know what curl pattern you have. This is a visual indicator more than anything, but helps you understand what products are meant for you.
- Porosity is more important in the type of products you use. You can learn about porosity in The Ultimate Guide to Hair Porosity: Does it really matter?
- Many products are now catered to wavy, curly or coily hair, low and high porosity, and fine or coarse hair.
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- Applying product is as important as the product itself. In all actuality, the more I’ve learned, the more often I think the application method is the MOST IMPORTANT aspect of curly care. I have a video on my application method that might help you out.
§ - Sleep is important, if you have long hair get Silk Scrunchies and learn to pineapple your hair.Get a silk or satin pillowcase. I have been through my share of these and so far my all-time favorite is a 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase, it has a zipper and stays in place. Silk has been proven to help your skin and hair retain moisture.
Using a humidifier at night while you sleep if you live in a dry climate will help you hair retain moisture.§
- Finally, if you need to wear ponytails, ditch the elastics, rubber bands and any hair tie with metal on it. I have used these seamless ponytail holders for decades and love them. If you cannot find them, you can make them out of baby tights, which I have done when stores go through weird phases of not selling them.
- Find your shampoo and conditioner that work for you 90% of the time. Why do I say 90%, because 10% of the time you need clarifying products.
Tried and true things you need to know for curls:
- Ditching the terrycloth towel and ditching dry brushing were the biggest helpers for my hair…reduced the breakage and the frizz.
- The best towel is smooth and loop free.
- Think of each curl clump as a family. That family needs to stick together, that is why you need a wide-tooth comb, you never rough up your hair with a towel, or blow-dry without a diffuser. And let your hair dry without touching it, the more you touch the more you break up the curl families and cause frizz and separation.
- If you need to print this list of ingredients take it with you when you go product shopping. You might need a magnifying glass too (I use the one on my iPhone); the fonts on labels are getting smaller and smaller. I won’t get started on that though.
Is Oil Curly Hair Safe?
Every culture across the entire globe, with all hair types, has used oil for nourishing their hair for centuries. While oils that are solid at room temperature like coconut oil may end up drying your hair out because they can create a moisture blocking coating, not all oils are created equally.
Depending on their molecular structure, oils can protect the hair and seal in moisture just like a gel would, or they can penetrate the hair and provide slip and conditioning.
Oils are blended into formulas to create slip, shine, conditioning, protection, and nourishment by replicating the lipid layer on the hair.
You can use oil for fly-aways, frizz, and there are naturally curly methods of product application that include oil in their method, like LOC, which stands for Liquid (or Leave-In), Oil, Cream, and LCO which switches the order of application on the oil and the cream, you can learn more on that in this great post at organigrowhairco.com.
Heavier oils like butters will likely be better for denser, tighter curl patterns, and higher porosity.
Light oils or oil free formulas will likely be better for lower density, finer, lower porosity hair types.
Chasing the Perfect Curl
Getting Shiny Curly Hair…
Shine is often more achievable on wavier types than on curlier types. Shine is also more a characteristic of lower porosity hair. Just know that your hair is gorgeous even if you cannot achieve “shine” in your locks.
Achieving Volume and Definition…
The reality is, if you want volume you’ll need a little bit of functional frizz to get it and you will sacrifice some definition to get it.
On the flip side, if you want purely defined waves and coils, chances are good your hair will be a little less than voluminous. This is especially true for thiner finer hair.
You can shop my favorite curly products on Amazon:
Final Thoughts:
I have had to find what worked for me, and you will have to find what works for you. Things to keep in mind:
- Some of these methods that become law aren’t for everyone. So go easy on yourself too.
- There are a ton of products being marketed to curly girls now so take your time and experiment.
- There are many manufactures that make a product and label it for curls but it may not be healthy or nourishing to curls so read your labels.
- YouTube Influencers are great and some of them have really fabulous curls, but don’t compare your curls to theirs. Don’t expect the products that work for them to work for you, the closer their hair type is to yours will mean all the difference.
- There is also some extreme information out there that is far more about that individual than it is about the general curly girl.
- KNOW YOUR HAIR TYPE and go for what works for YOU!
This post is updated regularly. Last update 5.14.2024
If you’d like to dive deeper into all my curly hair advice check out my Simply Silver Curls Playlist on YouTube.
I hope you found this post educational and helpful.
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share.
As always it is about so much more than the hair.
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