I should know better than to click on anything that says, “What Not To Wear After Age______!” I really really should!
I just read a ridiculous list of things that evidently I am too old to do.
…My grey hair is too long, my white hair is too frizzy…yeah tell that to Yazemeenah!
…My lipstick should be neutral and never bold…oh really wonder how Stacy London would respond to that?
…My glasses shouldn’t be black plastic frames…I bet Linda Rodin would disagree!
…My jeans should always be skinny and fitted; I’m sure Sarah Jane Adams would laugh hysterically at that!
…And absolutely no holes…Annika ᴠᴏɴ Holdt, you wanna weigh in here?
…I should never leave the house without makeup…. oh you know Ms Alicia Keys would disagree.
…I should never wear huge jewelry or hoop earrings or bandanas or flip-flops or…whatever!
Click on any link above and you will quickly see what I mean, these women are models, musicians, style icons, and innovators. I defy you to tell Yazemeenah to dye her never dyed hair, Alicia to put on some makeup, tell Sarah to tone it down a little, or tell Stacy & Linda anything about a style rule made up by who knows who…
Who writes this junk? Who decides what we all should be wearing or doing or looking like at any age?
Guess what I say to that? Age Smage!!!!
If you like it, if you are comfortable, if you feel good, if you have confidence dripping out of your earlobes… wear the long grey hair, with your black plastic frames and hoop earrings in your boyfriend holey jeans, and go get coffee and groceries sans make-up. I did just that today, not a drop of makeup, my hair was wild and frizzy from trying new hair products, my jeans are in-the-office-blogging-all-day-jeans, in other words comfy, and of course flip-flops.
It constantly astounds me what some people think is okay for them to say to another person. I recently learned, that when someone approaches me and says, “Can I just say something to you?” I will now respond with, “Only if it is from kindness and or a compliment; otherwise, no you may not.”
At some point in life, you just gotta be you. As women especially, we need to accept that your YOU is just fine and my ME is just fine.
Here is my list of things not to wear after tomorrow, I’m not gonna put an age on it.
These are topics I’ve coached my clients on. May you find some inspiration:
- Rules: If we all listened to all those rules and followed along to what everyone told us should be this way or that, we would all end up looking and being the same. Here it is—permission to be you! There, now you have it. Rules are shaped like a box. Never fit yourself into someone else’s box.
- Unhappiness: Find your happy and wear it like the finest possession you own. Go after happiness and foster it every day.
- Hurt Feelings: If you constantly find your feelings hurt, that might be more about you than anyone else. Wearing them around like buttons just means you are always hurting. Find healthy emotional support.
- Pretty: Wait! What? Yes, wear pretty only for you. If you want to look pretty, do it because it makes YOU feel good. Just remember the definition of you as pretty is solely yours.
- The need to be right: Stand corrected and then move on. The fact of the matter is opinions are not facts. Bow out graciously if you can.
- Control: Control is an illusion. Let go. Let live.
- Fear: Usually, the fear we internalize is never the same as what occurs in reality…fear is often wrong. Fear is one of the most aging emotions in the human experience. Moving past fear and jumping is one of the greatest youth tonics there ever was. Go for it. Joy is usually on the other side of fear.
- Blame: Accepting responsibility for your actions is one of the kindest things you can do to the people around you. Blame is ugly. Stop blaming others, take charge of your life, and living your truth becomes easier and easier.
- Self-Deprecation: Stop talking shit about yourself internally and to those around you. Those running tapes in your head that are rude and negative…stop the tape. You need not believe everything that goes through your mind.
- Judgment: Constantly judging those around you is terrible way to live. Find the good and focus on it. Most everybody has some good in them.
- Limited beliefs: You have a world at your fingertips and to believe you are smaller than, or less than, or not good enough is a lie.
- Complaining: If you can go one day without a single complaint, you will realize how much your brain spends wasting time with things you cannot change. If you can change it, go for it; otherwise, acceptance is a beautiful thing. Swap those complaints with blessings instead.
- What other people think: What other people think of you is none of your business, so stop worrying about pleasing everyone else, take care of you. Truth is, that is all they are doing anyway; they also are so busy with life they aren’t thinking as negatively about you as you might think.
- Resistance: What we resist persists…let go of the tightly-wound closed parts of your mind and open up a little, learn new things, experience others and their worlds. Change is inevitable. Be adaptable and embrace the newness life has to offer. Saying, “Yes!” to life is freeing.
- Labels: Sure, you might find some understanding by putting a label on something, but after that, let it go, not much point harping on it. Hang out too long with the label and it becomes judgment. On the same token, stop labeling yourself and carrying that label around with you everywhere. If you find yourself starting a conversation with one of your labels…investigate why. Careful because your afflictions can become your addictions.
- Excuses: Excuses, like my momma always said, “When you need an excuse any ol’ one will do.” If you don’t want to do something, just say, “No!” It is one of the most freeing things in the world to be able to say ‘no’ without an explanation.
- The Past: nothing like carrying around garbage bags full of junk that needs to stay in the past. What’s done is done. All you have is right NOW… live it!
- Unhealthy Attachments: if you find yourself constantly hooked to some thing or another, or someone or another, time to investigate that attachment and let it go. Addiction and attachment are the same, unchecked…and they rule you.
- Other people’s expectations: What other people expect of you is isn’t really about you in the first place, usually it is all about them. Live by your word and the expectations of other’s has no hold over you. You answer to you.
- Stress: We all have stress and a healthy amount of it keeps you motivated. However, if you can’t change it or do anything to make it better, then find an outlet for your stress and get into it. Paint, write, walk, do yoga, go running…whatever it is do it as often as possible to keep that stress off your back.
- Pain: We all know pain has a purpose, it tells us when something is wrong with our emotional, physical, or spiritual selves. It tells us when there is an injury. Beyond that, staying in pain is a choice. If you have chronic physical pain, make one decision that gets you closer to healing and act on it every single day. If you have chronic emotional pain, start talking to someone. Counseling is a good thing, talking gets it all out of your head and heart.
- Unhealthy Choices: This is the last one, because I feel like it is the foundation upon what all the others are built. If you eat like crap, you will feel like crap. If you are not moving, your body will tell you in various ways beyond your weight even. They now have said lethargy is as dangerous as smoking. Take care of your E.S.P. -Emotional. -Spiritual. -Physical. Start there and the rest falls into place.
I hope you found this post educational and helpful.
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share.
As always it is about so much more than the hair.
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