I was at a wedding, and I had chosen to go to this major event with a little temporary brown color on my hair. I was feeling very self-conscious, and a bit ridiculous for coloring my hair for this event. I was circulating and socializing when I stopped to talk to my mother and stepfather.
My stepfather, who was drunk and being loud, told me he thought I looked way younger with my brown hair and I should go back to dyeing it permanently. Matching his tone, I loudly said, “F#ck off Chuck!!!” The entire gathering turned to look my way, in shock, as I stormed off. This was my only dye dream, and it just happened in 2021, after ditching the dye 6 years prior. Even weirder, I don’t have a stepfather, no clue who that guy was.
Dreams are funny that way, though, aren’t they? We add people, facts, and scenarios, to build this strange little subconscious self-dialogue.
If you are in any group for silver hair on Facebook or elsewhere, you’ve probably seen the posts on the dye dream. When I did an initial search in one group about this phenomenon, I counted over 100 posts before I lost count to a much longer list of results. Essentially, we all have some version of this dream once we ditch the dye.
I always loved the Memory Pool in Harry Potter, it would be so amazing to spool out a thread of a memory or a dream and see it in front of me like a movie. In my journey down a thousand paths to the one I was meant to be on, one of them was dream interpretation.
I loved this field. I find dreams fascinating. They whisper truths to us; they share our commitment to our families, our life, and ourselves with us. Dreams can bring us insight, reveal our fears, and show us the future sometimes. One truly powerful part of dreams is their ability to reveal our truest desire. I’m not diving off the deep-end here; there is psychological data to back this up.
Most any habitual practice in our life will revisit us in our dreams after we quit. When I quit smoking, I had this same type of dream. I would dream about smoking at a party, after dinner, with coffee, and so on. I had this same experience when my adult braces were removed after five long painful years. I would often wake in the night after adjustments because my mouth felt like it was in a vice. Ironically, when the braces were removed, I would awaken from dreams of my teeth falling out, as if the braces had been holding them in. My brain took a little while to process the freedom of my teeth.
It is considered an actual phase of the recovery process when it is about cessation of a previous addiction. It makes sense; our minds are creatures of habit—good or bad. The mind likes routines, and predictabilities. So take a routine or habit away and it goes through an acceptance period.
My mom has always told me that, “sometimes you have to go back to find out why you left.” This little nugget of wisdom sums up the dye dream perfectly. It is the way the mind integrates this new reality into your psyche.
I think the most important aspect of these dreams is that it tells you how you really feel. Most people report waking up feeling relieved that the dream is over and happy their hair is still undyed. Some found they were very angry in the dream that their hair was ruined. A rarer set, found they loved the dye and decided to go back to it. Even more interesting is when your spouse dreams about a stylist coloring your hair and then goes off to hunt down said stylist. One woman reported running into old friends and all of them were joyously transitioning to their silver hair…that one is sweet…isn’t it?
Whatever your dye dream may be, I hope you affirmed your love for your natural color. Come find this photo on my Facebook @quicksilverhair and tell me about your dye dream.
I hope you found this post educational and helpful.
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share.
As always it is about so much more than the hair.
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